Praveen Ramesh

I find myself taking too many decisions all the time. And seemingly smaller decisions are the ones that take the most time. This stems from my urge to constantly ‘please’ people and my inability to say NO.

Agreed, life would be much better if I could do away with both traits. But I’ve found my unique way of coping with these shortcomings- having non-negotiables to aid my decision making.

Some of my non-negotiables include

• Limiting or not eating in dinners (as it makes me feel bloated the following day)
• Not agreeing to “ASAP” plans unless supremely important.
• Not scheduling/accepting meeting invites on 2 days a week.
• Never complimenting people with “But”. Ex: “I loved your new hairdo but…”
• Not giving in opinions when people are ranting

And the I have a few more that I’m not comfortable sharing.

Do I stick by all of them all the time? Probably not. But these guardrails help ease my decision making process.

I ensure I spend less energy on deliberating and countless conversations in my head. At least on things that are important to me.

I’m just there when people are ranting (instead of offering my advice). I don’t give a compliment unless I feel genuine about it.

You get the drift…

A lot of times, I ask myself

What would you have traded off to be here?

In terms of habits, wealth, family and emotional well-being.

The “college version” of myself would have aspired for the salary I have now

The “early 20s version” of myself would have aspired for the routine I have now

The “unfit 25 year version” would have been proud of the weight I deadlift now.

The “rookie 28 year marketer” would be proud of where I’m now.

The “novice Youtuber” would be proud of the 65 videos I have produced in 2022.

My younger self would have traded a lot of energy, time and happiness to have what I have now. But no, I want to look forward regret what I have NOT done.

It’s so easy to lose oneself to their own perfection or their own definition of success. At times we need to look back to see how much we’ve moved forward.

What would you have given to be where you’re at this point of time?

How do you handle conflict between team members?

What you’re REALLY want to know is how to resolve a conflict between YOUR team members. It depends who’s involved in the conflict, what are their personalities, and how open they are to resolving it.

The answer is “It Depends”

How do you ensure there’s work-life balance?

What you’re REALLY asking is how YOU want to attain work-life integration. It depends on what your day looks like. It depends on how long your commute to work is. It depends on how much you can invest in tools, people etc.

The answer is “It depends”

How do you I ensure my team writes well?

What you’re REALLY asking is WHY your team is not invested in writing. Does it bore them? Do they feel writing is valuable? Does writing add friction to their workflow? Do they use a boring writing software?

The answer is “It depends”

The onus to seek right answers in on the asker.

We should develop a muscle to ask better questions, provide context, and explain why we’re asking a question. It might take longer to get a solution, but any answer you get might be relevant.

We should stop seeking generic answers to specific problems.

Events and memories shape how we see the world. They dictate how we react to things. But here’s thing with events and experiences

No two people go through the ‘same’ experience even when they’re part of the same event.

A promotion at workplace could be life changing for your family. A moment of pride for a friend. A competing benchmark for a colleague. Envy for someone just joining the team.

The event is singular- A promotion for you. But how people experience/react to this event varies on where you’re in the spectrum.

The same event could mean different things to different people.

How we react to situations is dependant on what the situation means to us, and how close we’re to the actual event.

Hierarchies are funny. They bring in a lot of structure, and some amount of method to the madness. It can have a positive or negative effect depending who’s higher or lower in the hierarchy.

The chain stops if someone one level above or below in the hierarchy is irresponsible.

A great hierarchy with a rotten top, or a great person at the top with a rotten layer- both are disastrous!

I’ve been writing about my observations on creativity. Here are the first two blogs in the series

1. Creativity And Deadlines

2. Creativity And Originality

Today I want to speak about an aspect of creativity we overestimate- our ability to remember ideas.

Almost always I convince myself that I will remember an idea that comes to me. Only to realise that I forget the train of thought through which they come to us.

We forget our ideas as quickly as it occurs to us.

Never think you’ll recall a good idea. Because mostly certainly you will not. Have systems, tools and a method to capture your ideas.

I use Apple notes to capture everything. I have a folder for “Video ideas”, “Blog ideas” and “Random ideas”. In addition to this, I have a swipe file- which is basically a collection of photos, quotes, and interesting ads/videos I come across.

When not with phone.. well.. most of my ideas come when browsing. And I completely switch off (at least I try) and just be when not with a phone!

I’ve been writing about my observations on creativity. You can read the first blog in the series here.

Today I want to speak about the relationship between being creative and being original.

I feel Creativity ≠ Originality

Some of the greatest creators I follow on social and I’ve started studying spent the formative years producing derivative work.

Emulating others is the easiest way to find ourselves.

But there are few things I follow when deriving work

1. Give credit if you’re lifting an idea from someone. Encourages the creator (and might make their day)

2. Don’t do things to impress. Spin your perspective to ideas, and be authentically yourself. That’s the only thing people cannot steal!

I was on a solo trip recently and was speaking with folks from different cultures. A few moments in, topic quickly moved to how fellow travellers conceived India.

To my surprise, most of what they perceived were from snapshots of news they saw on Youtube, Instagram, and Tik-Tok. A lot of discussions, a few banters, and they did discover a lot of things beyond what the algorithms and media chose to show them.

Led me to a realisation.

It was fascinating how a snapshots of things we see, frame our point of views and perceptions about things. From fitness, travel, wealth building, and everyday life in general.

The snapshots’ at best drive an agenda- either convincing us that the poster is living their best life, or convincing us of their agenda. It denies of the vital information that can help someone come to a sound conclusion.

In the age of Snapshot information, peeling the layer to craft our reality could be a superpower.

Having successful team collaboration in an official context often boils down two things

1. Different stakeholders ACTUALLY getting along

2. The teams/stakeholders DON’T have conflicting incentives.

A leaders #1 job is to felicitate these two. No amount of structures, process and documentation can solve for the lack of aligned incentives.

Over the past few months, I’ve been speaking to my coach at the Quad about a new move I’m trying out. I got lucky that I have a set of coaches who understand my body and limitations. But my journey with “getting better” at training was not easy.

But first, some back story.

I used to train for years, but probably only retained 10% of what I learnt. I was always more closer to someone who's just starting out with workouts. Basically I could do a few moves well, and my skills started to plateau quickly.

You don’t get better by hanging out there.

Some books, a couple of apps, and bunch of Youtube videos later, I realised it’s best for me to learn ‘working out’ from an in-person class.

And I’ve gotten better over the past 2-3 years. But I discovered that there’s a dimension that unlocks with deliberate practice.

Feeling better doing the thing that you’re learning makes you get better.

Before you shoot me off, getting better and feeling better are NOT the same. Getting better is about improving (on specific metrics, parameters etc), whereas feeling better is about confidence, comfort and acceptance.

Once you start feeling better you’re no longer intimidated by the act of doing something. You’re not rushed into optimising things. You’re not in a race with anyone.

Granted I’m far away from having a chiselled body, and my endurance is still way off where it needs to be- but I’ve passed the first waypoint

It just feels better to train, even when I have a bad day!

So rounding off- If you haven’t been getting better ask yourself “Am I feeling better doing this?”